Modern parents weigh in on how to manage picky eaters : 'You don't have to eat it all, but you have to try'

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Nov 7, 2025 2:00 PM EST

You've heard of the terrible twos, but have you gotten to the terrible threes yet? Honestly, things don't suddenly ease up at four or five, either. At these ages, kids can devour broccoli and yet suddenly declare their all-time favorite fruit the enemy. It happened to me as a kid with potatoes, and I didn't let up until high school.

One mom has managed to raise a remarkably good eater, but the kid has one very specific dealbreaker when it comes to food: she refuses to eat anything that even remotely resembles soup. That means no broth, no chili, no stew, and pretty much nothing that is floating in a liquid. Normally, this isn't a huge deal; Mom just doesn't make soup. But sometimes life happens, family cooks, relatives invite you over, and suddenly your child is refusing to eat in front of a whole crowd. So, now Mom is torn: should she stick to the rule that dinner is dinner and there are no alternate options? Or should she allow a soup-specific exception to preserve the peace? Her husband worries that if they concede now, it will only open the picky-eater floodgates. But Mom's not convinced; after all, don't even the most well-adjusted adults have one or two foods they refuse to touch?

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  • 01

    Would you fix your child a separate meal if they refused to eat what you had cooked?

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  • 02
    Hello, I'm in search of some advice.
    via u/basement_egg_24-7
  • 03
    My daughter is 3, and is overall a good eater. My husband and I have worked very hard to instill healthy eating habits in her. And for the most part she isn't picky.
    via u/basement_egg_24-7
  • 04
    She also understands that what I cook for dinner is her only option, and since she's not picky that's usually not a problem.
    via u/basement_egg_24-7
  • 05
    Except when it comes to soup, or anything soup adjacent. Stew, beans, chili. If it's too similar to soup she won't eat it.
    via u/basement_egg_24-7
  • 06
    I usually avoid making things like that. The main issue is when we get invited to eat at a relatives
    via u/basement_egg_24-7
  • 07
    house, or when my dad cooks a big pot of something and brings it to us.
    via u/basement_egg_24-7
  • 08
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  • 09
    My husband thinks that we should continue to enforce with our daughter that what the rest of us are eating is the only option.
    via u/basement_egg_24-7
  • 10
    He says that giving her something else will just teach her that if she refuses to eat her
    via u/basement_egg_24-7
  • 11
    dinner she'll be rewarded with something different, and it'll cause her to become picky.
    via u/basement_egg_24-7
  • 12
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  • 13
    I'm not so sure though. If it's only when we eat soup, or soup-ish things, then will it really affect
    via u/basement_egg_24-7
  • 14
    every other meal? Even adults have certain foods that they just don't like.
    via u/basement_egg_24-7
  • 15
    What would you all do? Any advice is appreciated.
    via u/basement_egg_24-7

  • I've seen a TikTok reel of a mom giving out pretty good advice. She found that the best way to convince her kid to try a new food is to pretend that she only made the food for herself. Then her kid instantly wants to try it and eat it all!

  • 16
    omegaxx19 I think you and your husband both make good points.
    via u/omegaxx19
  • 17
    Personally I'm with you: even adults have certain foods they don't like, and little ppl are allowed to have preferences. The rules we tried to enforce (we're not too consistent, which is its own problem) are:
    via u/omegaxx19
  • 18
    -you don't have to eat something, but you have to try
    via u/omegaxx19
  • 19
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  • 20
    -if you've tried and still don't want to eat it, you can eat something else on the table, or just go for a piece of black bread (we settled
    via u/omegaxx19
  • 21
    on that because it's a fairly wholesome food that he will usually eat, but he doesn't LOVE it, so it's not gonna incentivize him to skip meals)
    via u/omegaxx19
  • 22
    kmae1028 If mine don't want what's offered, they are allowed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or a bowl of Cheerios. That's it.
    via u/kmae1028
  • 23
    Jamjams2016 Leftovers are also okay in my house
    via u/Jamjams2016
  • 24
    Ice Queen66 I usually offer the non preferred WITH a preferred. That way you know they're eating something, but anything else they may want is not available and only those options are. And if they do try 3 bites of the non preferred, when dinner is done they get their reward (a small treat).
    via u/Ice_Queen66
  • 25
    CanuckDreams Are there foods your husband can't stand? Maybe serve that up one night as the only option.
    via u/CanuckDreams
  • 26
    I'm all for offering variety and getting kids to try things, and not letting them overly limit their palate, but if there's a texture or flavor they truly can't stomach, they shouldn't be forced to eat it. Make her something else but keep it simple on those nights. A sandwich or chicken nuggets, etc.
    via u/CanuckDreams

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